The Meeting
by ShadowSong StarGlaive The Wolf
Summary: Oneshot The Master Hand calls a meeting of all the inhabitants of the mansion, and you can be sure nothing good can go right when all of them are packed in the same room...


A/N Yellow Mello! It's me again (who else would it be anyway:shifty eyes: ) with another fic. This may be a one-shot or a continuation, but you'll just have to stick around and see, ne?

Disclaimer: If I owned Super Smash Brothers, things would be a lot different- there would be a café in the middle of the game, Link and Zelda would have frequent dates, Young Zelda would be in the game, and ramen would be a food staple for the entire world.

Wait, that last one has nothing to do with SSB. Oh well. Carry on!

(Rendezvous d'Horrour)

"Doesn't anyone but me wonder WHY the Talls called a meeting and included us?" asked Pikachu to Pichu and Jigglypuff as they walked-waddled down the halls of the Smashers Mansion. "It's not like they ever talk to us anyway, just throw us a couple of chips and assume we're happy."

"Really," agreed Pichu. "Last time there was a meeting they had to rebuild the entire mansion, send Tall Ape and Tall Spiky Turtle to the hospital, and apologize to the Serbian and Bulgarian government. Do you remember that?"

"Oh," shuddered Jigglypuff. "When that thing with the toothpaste and plastic Beanie Babies got to eastern Europe, and the-"

"Aren't they so cute chattering away like that?" asked Peach sweetly to Mario as they walked down the same corridor as the Pokemon. "It's like they can actually understand each other. Aww…" She was walking with the rest of the Smashers towards the Room of No Escape- er, the Meeting Room.

The Smashers approached the room gingerly, for the Master Hand had been known to pull some crazy stunts with a electric fence and a lot of chicken wire when he felt like it. Often these devices were rigged up to commonly used devices in the Smasher household- the phone, the fridge, the fire extinguishers. Although by the first two months of living in the mansion, everyone had been burned, no one questioned the giant glove's odd behavior.

"All right," started the Master Hand as the Smashers filed into the room in twos, cautiously taking seats, and probing for spikes in the muffins set out on the table for refreshments.

There's another story there too, but the police have it in better detail on file in the Extreme Cases department.

"If anyone has any grievances, or wishes to respond to a grievance, press the white button in front of you on the table and talk," said the Master Hand, hoping this plan would not cause a riot of fake- "Oops, I pressed it on accident!" pushers and squabbles over who's button was who's.

Peach stood up in her chair and said, "Yeah, I've got a problem-"

"BUTTON!" bellowed the Master Hand, the power of his voice sending a few muffins flying. Young Link quickly caught them with his hookshot and proceeded to stuff himself.

"For crying out loud!" snapped Peach, "Those are for silly kids, NOT highly trained fighters!"

"Like he said, Peach," drawled Marth. "Use the button."

She prepared to tackle him but was stopped by Samus, who yanked her friend down and said, "Okay, thanks for that Peach, who's next?"

Roy tapped his button with his fire sword and burnt a small smiley face in it. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!A high-pitched screaming buzzer went off, and everyone either shivered and clapped their hands over their ears. Well, everyone but most of the Pokemon, due to incredibly short arms and long ears; the curse of genetics.

"Well?" demanded the Master Hand. "You talk after you press the button, you know."

"Actually, I just wanted to see if there was a new sound or something," muttered Roy. "Like some cool techno or R and B."

"For the love of-" BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

"Can we get a Jacuzzi in here?" excitedly asked Fox from the corner of the room, where he was playing with his gun and doing tricks. "It was great last time until it got taken away!"

"We're banned from ever getting Jacuzzi, remember?" Falco reminded Fox, taking his own gun and shooting the button. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! "In more important matters, I think we need a decent sushi bar around here."

"We're still on my topic!" snapped Fox. "Anyway, why not?"

"Because last time, Jigglypuff and DK clogged the jets," patiently explained Falco. "Anyway, some culture around here would be nice, and some wasabi wouldn't hurt either."

Jigglypuff and DK both squeaked-growled indignantly, menacing toward their own buttons, despite the fact that the Master Hand would not be able to understand a word they were saying. Or perhaps they just wanted to annoy everyone with the screeching sound. The world will never know.

Peach, having escaped from Samus's restraints, whacked her buzzer with her parasol and said, "Look, who's getting up at three in the morning to take showers on the floor above mine? From crying out loud, there's at least ten hours of daylight when you could take your shower!"

"Well if SOMEONE would stop taking picture of me in the shower I wouldn't have to do it by night!" retorted Link, bashing his buzzer with his boomerang (the Master Hand flinched as a piece of plastic chipped off).

"Do you know how much money I get off the fans for these pictures?" demanded Young Link. "I could BUY you a new shower with this payoff!"

"You realize that is practically prostitution?" yelled Link. "Considering I'm you!"

"Living in this house gets weirder every day," muttered Mario to Luigi, who nodded grimly. "Wanna go back to Italy?"

"Let's," agreed Luigi, and they both slipped out of the room, taking a few muffins with them as well.

BZZZZZZZZZZZ!

"Look, some techno would seriously be better-"

"On the subject of nighttime antics, I've got a problem," loudly said Ganondorf over Roy's voice, throwing a dark look at Ness and Young Link. "You have GOT to stop those midnight Dance Dance Revolution marathons!"

"Oh stuff it," smirked Ness. "The volume is never really high anyway. Besides, how can we dance without a beat?"

"That'd be a great song lyric," mused Mr. Game and Watch in the corners of his mind. Mewtwo gave him a strange look, then turned back to the argument. Sometimes psychic powers weren't so profound to have.

"Your feet must weigh eighty pounds to make noises THAT loud on the ceiling!" retorted Ganondorf. "And you KNOW I have the room below you!"

"Why else did we buy that game?" innocently asked Young Link.

"Why-" snarled the Gerudo, picking up a muffin to use in the forthcoming battle.

"Stop!" roared the Master Hand. "Alright, no more DDR nights!"

"Aww…" muttered both of the boys.

"Any more problems?" asked the Master Hand wearily. "No? Good! Exit on the left-"

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

"Ugh…" groaned the exhausted hand. "What now?"

"Wait!" yelled Roy. "I found the problem in our phone bill- Fox's calls to Krystal!"

"Who?" muttered Peach to Zelda.

"His girlfriend a couple solar systems away," replied Zelda. "I always wondered who that area code on the Caller ID was. It had little fox tails and ears in the number…"

"Well exCUSE me if I actually have a girlfriend!" snapped Fox. "Is is fair that those of us with social lives have to pay more?"

"Why can't you people just fix these things yourselves?" moaned the Master Hand. "Look, Fox, out-of-galaxy phone calls only once a week, got it?"

"Yeah, instead of once an HOUR," muttered Falco.

"Oh, does it sting that I'm in a relationship while you wander the mores of loneliness?" teased Fox, enjoying the fact that he had the upper paw here.

"That's IT!" yelled Falco, who chucked his gun at Fox's head. The fox swiftly dove under the table, leaving poor Dr. Mario to be bashed upon the head.

"Yeah, it is it!" laughed Fox, zipping past Falco and sending the bird pilot flying (pun intended.)

"Stop this!" bellowed the Master Hand. "Both of you, sit down and shut up. Dr. Mario, stop moaning, you've gotten worse before."

"Oh like that helps," muttered the Italian doctor, rubbing his head.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! "Next topic!" yelled Samus, who had slammed her fist on her button, smashing it to a couple of asymmetrical pieces. "Shoot. Oh well." She looked at Mr. Game and Watch sitting innocently in his little chair. "If I have to hear Beethoven's Fifth Symphony one more time I swear I will blow your room away, got it?"

Calmly, the veteran video game character beeped out a response.

"Oh you did NOT just say that!" screaming Samus, sending off a heat-seeking missile towards him.

Unfortunately, as heat-seeking missiles are apt to do, they sought the closest warm thing- and that was Mewtwo, who was peacefully playing a game of handheld Tetris underneath the table.

"Oh, sure, blow up Mewtwo, it's not like he's the world's most powerful Pokemon or anything," muttered the disgruntled lavender psychic. "And I almost had three hundred lines too!"

"Sorry!" apologized Samus, who accidentally stumbled back in her excitement and landed on Bowser- or more specifically, his spikes- and swore, "Holy-"

"Cowpies!" improvised Zelda, who pulled her friend off Bowser and sat her down gently. "Next topic!"

"Hey guys," mused Roy, not bothering at all to press his button, "if we take genes from a weed- like a dandelion- and put it in little babies do you think they would be able to chop off their heads and grow back?"

"I honestly have no idea," said Marth, who was used to the swordsman's odd questions. "Can we get back to the thing that was going on before- the Smasher meeting? Does anyone have a Smasher-related topic?"

BZZZZZZZZZZ! "I do!" cried Ness. "When Peach takes a shower does all the blonde hair dye run into the sewer and dyes all the rats yellow?"

"Die!" screamed Peach, who tackled Ness, who crashed into Yoshi, who panicked and accidentally swallowed one of the Ice Climbers. As the green dinosaur rolled away, coughing up a very angry Nana, Young Link threw his boomerang at Peach, yelling, "Nobody hurts my friends!" and threw himself into the fray.

Peach quickly ducked the boomerang and went back to beating Ness in a rather unprincess-like manner. Unfortunately, the boomerang came back only to whack Kirby on the head, who angrily began to menance towards Young Link.

"Uh oh… nice… pink… marshmallow…" weakly laughed the little warriors, who sprinted away, chased by the eternally hungry little Kirby.

Meaning, the Pokemon poker game was going quite swimmingly.

"All right, ante up, two Water Energy cards, I repeat, two Water Energy cards," stated Pichu, dealing out the cards. "Dittos wild."

"Those Talls sure are fun to watch," commented Jigglypuff, leaning on Pichu, snuggling up to him.

"And they claim they need to train us," sniffed Pikachu. "By the way, Pichu, you owe me forty bucks from the last game."

(End of Story)

A/N I'm thinking about doing other chapters in this, about other meetings between certain groups of people (the girls, the guys, the Pokemon, the swordsmen, the freaks- wait, that's everybody). Tell me what you think!

Read and Review! I have free kittens if you do!

Hey, that rhymed…


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